Brave New World

Todd Henry [00:00:02]:
Hey, everyone. It was about a year ago that my book The Brave Habit first hit the shelves. And so today I want to do something slightly different. I want to do an episode called Brave New World, in which I'm going to walk you through a part of my final chapter, Chapter nine of The Brave Habit, which is about how to live bravely in the face of your everyday world, whether that's work, your relationships, your neighborhood, basically how to adopt a brave mindset as you go about your day to day work, which is different from, I think, what a lot of us think bravery is. So this is chapter nine. It's called Brave New World. And the opening quote is from Viktor Frankl, from Man's Search for Meaning. And it says, ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked.

Todd Henry [00:00:53]:
In a word, each man is questioned by life, and he can only answer to life by. By answering for his own life, to life. He can only respond by being responsible. So, several years ago, my family went camping in a place called Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. That was a crazy trip, by the way. Here's a little sidebar, but I'll share that story later. As part of the trip, my wife informed me, as often happens in our household, that we were going to be making a little side excursion to a place called Horse Cave, where, as she put it, we would engage in a little light rappelling. Now, the reason my wife had to warn me in advance about this little rappelling adventure is that she knows that since well before we were married, I have been afraid of heights.

Todd Henry [00:01:34]:
But she consoled me, it's probably a very short cliff. After all, even our kids, who were much younger at the time, are able to rappel, so how bad could it be? And she added, it ends in a pizza buffet. If you want to get me on board with any plan, just tell me. It ends in a pizza buffet and we're good. Okay? So the time came for us to make our little side excursion. And as we were gearing up to rappel, I remember thinking, wow, this is a lot of gear we're wearing for a little kitty cliff. We had helmets, pads, the kind of harnesses you normally see daredevils and soldiers wearing. I started to get a little nervous as I glanced around at the 25 or so heavily armored people in our group.

Todd Henry [00:02:13]:
Then I received two pieces of information I did not previously have. The first was that it wasn't, in fact a little kiddie cliff, but was Instead a sheer 80 foot rock cliff that emptied out into another 120 foot drop into Horse Cave. I got a little tense. However, the second piece of information held my salvation in its grasp. And it was this. Our guide informed us that there was now a lightning storm headed into the area. And if the lightning storm came in quicker than expected, there was a good chance that not everyone would be able to go over the cliff. As you can imagine, I developed a new strategy.

Todd Henry [00:02:51]:
I was going to be the most polite rappeller in the history of Horse Cave. So as we made our way out to the cliff, I was letting every single person in our party ahead of me. I was like, no, you go first, please. I really want this experience, but I want it for you more. So as we arrived out at the cliff, I was the very last person in line out of approximately 25 people in our group. I was singing the praises of my own brilliance. I thought I'd managed to successfully escape having to rappel while simultaneously looking like a really good guy. Then I looked up.

Todd Henry [00:03:24]:
At the very front of the line was my nine year old daughter, Ava. Her eyes were filled with excitement and she couldn't wait to go over the cliff. Almost as if he was taunting me, our guide put his hand on Ava's helmet and proclaimed, look at this brave young lady. How daring and fearless is she to be willing to be the first one over the cliff? Is there any mere mortal as courageous as she? Okay, I may have made that last part up, but he added, we can't have a child go first. We need an adult to go first. Ava immediately turned and looked right at me. And at that moment, a switch flipped in me. Now, I've spent a lot of time in the years since this happened trying to understand what changed.

Todd Henry [00:04:07]:
And I believe I've arrived at an answer which I'm going to share in a minute. But almost as if I was having an out of body experience, I immediately raised my hand and I said, I'll go. Adding under my breath, I want to die quickly and with honor. Right? That's how I want to go out. So I walked over to the precipice of death and our guide hooked me in and told me to lean back over the cliff. I felt the line go taut and as I began down the rock wall, I realized that the mechanism was actually holding my weight. In fact, I was enjoying myself as I got about 15ft down. Almost out of earshot, I heard the guide suddenly proclaim, okay folks, apparently the lightning storm is coming in quicker than we thought.

Todd Henry [00:04:49]:
For a moment I thought I was the butt of some giant cosmic joke. But his point wasn't that we weren't all going to get to go over. It was that we needed to hurry to get everyone over the cliff, which we did. And it was a great experience. And might I add, the pizza buffet was magnificent. But back to the moment when that something flipped in me when Ava looked at me. And the defining question, which is this. Why was I thoroughly terrified to do something one moment, then in the very next moment, I found myself willingly doing that very thing.

Todd Henry [00:05:23]:
And I'll tell you the answer that I've come to. It's because I heard my name. Now, no one was shouting Todd Henry, right? That's not what I mean. You see, I've come to believe that my real name isn't whatever my parents called me. My real name is whatever I choose to respond to. I've learned that all day long, every day, I have names hurled at me by my circumstances. My inner narrator hears things like coward or imposter or incompetent or selfish or failure. However, I've trained myself to spot those narratives as they enter my head because I've learned that more often than not, the narrative or vision that I choose to listen to will be the dominant influencer of my behavior.

Todd Henry [00:06:14]:
So in that moment, instead of responding to the name coward, which is what I was previously doing, putting my head down and trying not to make eye contact with our guide or with Ava, I chose to respond to the name brave. I chose in that moment to live by the narrative that we've taught our kids since a young age, that we do hard things. In fact, the likely reason that Ava sped to the front of the line is because since she was young, we've called her Brava B R dash A V A to reinforce that she's courageous, that she doesn't need to be timid. We've reinforced that name for her. So her natural response with her life is to move toward bravery. It's toward bravery. That's the name that she's adopted for herself. Well, we each stand at various precipices in our lives, just like I was standing at that physical precipice.

Todd Henry [00:07:03]:
And in those moments, we have to choose our identity. We have to choose which name we will respond to. Will you be the kind of person who shrinks from the moment or the one who is willing, even when it's uncomfortable, to do the right thing? Will you not only endure but embrace discomfort for the sake of the greater good? Will you refuse to rationalize cowardly behavior? As an expression of wisdom. Because often cowardice comes disguised as wisdom. The question is, will you respond to the name brave? All right, that is a section from the chapter called Brave New World in The Brave Habit. Um, it's just the opening section of that chapter. But there's something else really important that I think needs to be called out in this moment. And that is that in that moment, the moment when I was last in line and Ava looked up at me and I had that moment of realization, I was being led by my daughter.

Todd Henry [00:08:07]:
In that moment, she called out of me something that I kind of knew was inside of me, but I was trying to ignore because it was inconvenient, because it was going to force me to do something I didn't want to do. My daughter led me in that moment. When we act bravely, we call out of others what is already inside of them. But they may be ignoring out of convenience, right out of cowardice. They may be responding to names other than the one they want to respond to. But when we look at them, when we call out of them, when we raise the water level by acting bravely ourselves, we raise the water level for everyone around us. We call out of them things that are in them that they may not realize are there. We help them identify who they are and the impact that they could have in this world.

Todd Henry [00:08:59]:
So that is the role that we all must play with one another in our organizations, in our families and our neighborhoods. We have to act bravely. Which doesn't mean bravado, by the way. And I spend a lot of time in the brave habit talking about the difference between bravado and bravery. Bravado is posturing. Bravado is being bombastic. It's saying a lot of big things to position ourselves as if we're brave. But often bravado is just a cover for cowardice.

Todd Henry [00:09:28]:
At the end of the day, it's saying a lot of stuff to make yourself look big. But at the end of the day, underneath of all of it is cowardice. Bravery calculates the cost in acts anyway. Bravery is self sacrificial. Bravery is about the other. Bravery is about pursuing a vision. It's about something outside of yourself. It's not self serving, it's about something outside of yourself being, you know, taking a financial risk isn't necessarily brave if all of the benefits fall back to you.

Todd Henry [00:09:57]:
But taking a risk on behalf of someone else is brave because you're pursuing a vision outside of yourself. You're doing something, you're investing in those around you. So here's my challenge to you this week. As we go about our lives, as we enter this brave new world of uncertainty, how are you leading others around you to bravery, to self sacrifice, to emptying themselves in pursuit of something greater than themselves? Are you calling out of others what's in them? Or are you just sufficing with going about your life, getting what you can get and, you know, leading a nice quiet life? Or are you willing to look others in the eye and say, listen, I'm going to do this. I'm going to model the way and I'm going to look you in the eye and I'm going to demand that you also rise to the challenge that you answer to the name that not the name your parents gave you, but the name that signifies who you want to be in this world. Your name is not what your parents gave you. Your name is what you choose to respond to. As we act bravely, as we lead bravely, we raise the water level.

Todd Henry [00:11:07]:
We call others to bravery around us. And that, friends, is what changes teams, is what changes organizations. And ultimately, that's what transforms the very world around us. Okay, you're not called to change the world. I'm sorry, you're not? I not either, but we're called to change the world around us. We're called to plant a flag where we are and to raise the water level for everyone who interacts with us. So that's my challenge for you this week. Are you calling out of others what they're capable of? Hey, thanks so much for listening.

Todd Henry [00:11:45]:
Listen, I do these episodes like this. I put out daily two minute essays and they're available only in the daily Creative app at DailyCreative app. But every single day there is a little two minute prompt with a little essay like this and a question for you to respond to. You can journal keep track of your responses so you get daily episodes. You also get the full interviews. For all of the episodes we do, there are courses, Q and A segments and much, much more. Plus, it's a great way to support the show. So if you enjoy the show, if you're getting value out of the show, please visit DailyCreative app.

Todd Henry [00:12:20]:
Sign up for an app subscription. It's 50 bucks a year and it's a great way to support the show. Plus you get daily encouragement and coaching from me along the way. My name is Todd Henry. You can find my books, my speaking and all of my work@toddhenry.com until next time, may you be brave, focused and.