Time Anxiety

Todd Henry [00:00:02]:

One of the strangest things about time is that it feels so inconsistent. We all get the same number of hours in a day. Yet some days seem to stretch endlessly while others vanish in the blink. And as you get older, especially if you've been doing creative work for a while, you start to feel a shift. Time starts to speed up. You begin to notice that certain possibilities have quietly passed you by. And that low hum in the back of your mind, the one that whispers you're running out of time, gets a little louder. I felt it many times early in my career.

Todd Henry [00:00:37]:

It showed up as overwork, this belief that if I could just pack more into my calendar, get more efficient, use the right productivity app, then I'd finally get ahead. But the truth is, I never really caught up. In fact, the more efficient I became, the more I piled on my plate. The result? More stress, less breathing room, and a creeping sense that even when I was producing, I may not be spending my hours on the right things, the things that actually matter. And that's at the heart of what today's guest, Chris Guillebeau, calls time anxiety. It's not just about the busy seasons, when work is stacked to the ceiling. We all have those, right? It's deeper than that. Time anxiety is the gnawing feeling that the clock is ticking.

Todd Henry [00:01:19]:

The sometimes on the project, sometimes on a dream, sometimes on your whole life. And you're not sure you're using the time that you do have in the best possible way. And here's the kicker. It's not just about the present moment. Chris makes the case that time anxiety stretches across all three dimensions of time. In the past, it shows up as regret, things that you wish you'd done differently in the future. It's that restless sense that I should be doing something, I just don't. You don't know what it is.

Todd Henry [00:01:47]:

And in the present, it's the constant pull toward whatever feels urgent rather than what's important. Listen, if you're a creative pro, you know this battle all too well. And you live in the tension between Chronos time, the linear, measurable ticking of the clock, and Cairo's time, those rare moments when you're so immersed in your work that hours pass without notice. Creativity demands both, but our culture overwhelmingly rewards only one. The part where you crank out more, faster. I've learned over the years that you can't optimize your way out of anxiety. Sure, better systems can help you be more organized, but they won't fix the deeper problem. If anything, they can make it worse.

Todd Henry [00:02:27]:

Because efficiency without clarity just means that you can produce more of what doesn't really matter anyway. The real solution is alignment, making sure your time is being spent in a way that reflects your values, your priorities, and the impact that you want to have. And that takes some hard choices. It might mean saying no to opportunities that look really good on paper but aren't truly aligned. It might mean protecting creative space even when the rest of the world is demanding just one more thing from you. And it almost always means letting go of those phantom deadlines, the arbitrary timelines that you've adopted because you saw someone else hit a milestone that you decided you were behind. Chris Guillebau's new book, Time Anxiety, digs deep into this topic. He explores where anxious relationships with time comes from and how it warps our decision making, and most importantly, how to reclaim a sense of urgency over our days.

Todd Henry [00:03:19]:

This isn't about squeezing in one more productivity hack. We don't need that. It's about reshaping the way that you think about time so it works for you instead of against you. So in the conversation that you're about to hear, we're going to talk about the difference between time optimization and time alignment. Why everything in modern life feels urgent and practical steps that you can take from to loosen the grip of time anxiety. We also touch on how creative people can design their days so that their best energy is spent on the work that matters most. So if you've ever felt like the days are blurring together or that you're sprinting but never arriving, this one's for you. This is Daily Creative.

Todd Henry [00:04:01]:

Since 2005, we've served up weekly tips for staying brave, focused, and brilliant every day. My name is Todd Henry. Welcome to the show.

Chris Guillebeau [00:04:13]:

I think of it as the distress that we feel from a sense of time running out, a sense of time being limited and finite, which is true, that is reality, but also just the sense that it's. It is. It's too late for something. I've missed my chance for something in life, perhaps, or I don't quite know what to do with the time I have.

Todd Henry [00:04:35]:

That's Chris Guillebeau, author of the book Time Anxiety's definition of, well, time anxiety.

Chris Guillebeau [00:04:42]:

So this is like an existential type. And then there's another type that co occurs which is, okay, what do I do right now? I feel distressed over how to make decisions. Just simple daily decisions sometimes. Of all the different opportunities that are available to us. Like, we live in this world that has, like, unlimited information and it's just now with AI and everything, it's like just everything is constantly available to us and so many opportunities, which is great and wonderful and also comes with this great pressure, this sense of pressure of how do I manage everything. Is it just a question of time management, which is one approach that people take? And I think that is limiting and ultimately unhelpful and maybe even contributes more to the distress that we feel about time. Because we can't just get better. We can get a little bit better, but then there's always going to be more to be done, especially in the creative world.

Chris Guillebeau [00:05:33]:

Like this audience, like, obviously understands that. So I feel that this is something that maybe it's not universal, but it's very common. Like when I started researching this topic and talking with people, almost everyone that I spoke to said, wow, time anxiety. I don't know what that is, but I have that. I never heard that, but that's me. Like I, I worry about this all the time and I just, I live my life with this low grade sense of angst.

Todd Henry [00:05:57]:

We often hear the phrase fomo, right? Fear of missing out. But you argue that time anxiety is not, it's not really fomo. There's something that distinguishes it. What is the difference between time anxiety and fomo?

Chris Guillebeau [00:06:09]:

Yeah, so fomo, it very much implies the present, like fear of missing out. Something is happening without me right now and I need to be part of it. Maybe I feel envious of other people or some situation. Whereas time anxiety is like all dimensions of time, past, present and future. So the past is, oh, I have some regret or I think I use that phrase like, there's something I wish I had done differently and this now affects me and it also limits my options in the future. And then speaking of future, it's like, there's something I should be doing, but I don't quite know what it is. So it's like time anxiety, like permeates all dimensions of time, whereas FOMO is more just like there's something.

Todd Henry [00:06:47]:

Right now, you just mentioned something that I have experienced. I am now in my early 50s, right. And there is this solidification that happens, right? It's like all the potential. Like when you think of quantum physics, how everything is potential and. And then once it's observed, it snaps into a reality and it's. It's almost like you get to a point when you get later in your career, later in your life, where you start to see things, all of these options and possibilities snapping into a reality, and you start to see, oh, my future is much more Finite than I had envisioned it even five or ten years ago.

Chris Guillebeau [00:07:22]:

Sure, sure, sure.

Todd Henry [00:07:24]:

And for some people, I think you talk about time anxiety. I think for some people, that is a very terrifying thing, because all of these things you'd envision that someday I will. And then you realize, oh, I have made decisions now that have limited my future. Is that sort of descriptive of what you're talking about with time anxiety?

Chris Guillebeau [00:07:44]:

It can be terrifying or it can be freeing, and maybe it's a little bit of both. Right? It's. Yeah, it is scary to confront this reality that, oh, maybe they're at least in terms of. Of an age, for example, like you mentioned. And I'm almost 50, so it's okay. Probably fewer days in front than there were behind. Or even just the general concept of mortality, which can. You can have that understanding at any age.

Chris Guillebeau [00:08:06]:

And I think there is a difference between an intellectual understanding of mortality and an emotional understanding, where it's like, I make this distinction of the intellectual understanding is like, everybody dies someday, whereas the emotional understanding is, someday I will die. And so that can be terrifying, as you said, or it can be like, huh, okay, now that I understand that, maybe that actually helps me make better decisions and I can live more purposefully. And some of the things that I used to be really stressed out about, I can just let go of those things because it doesn't really matter if I. There's something I don't want to do. Maybe I don't actually just. I can just not do it. And I can spend more time creating or spending time with my loved ones or pursuing a hobby that maybe I thought was silly before, but now I'm like, why shouldn't I do that thing? So it can be a little bit of both. But you also said something about, like, how we perceive time.

Chris Guillebeau [00:09:00]:

And I think that does change, like, through our lifespan. And I think the way kids perceive time is very different than adults. Even though it is the same exact. Like, time is the same. Right. Time doesn't change. But for a kid, like, time is passing really slowly, and there's all this, like, new discovery and exploration and adventure. But the time between one birthday and the next, it just seems like forever.

Chris Guillebeau [00:09:22]:

It's going to be so long until you get your driver's license or whatever the milestone is, till you graduate, until you have the freedom to make your own choices and such. And obviously, like, later in life, we realized, man, the time is just. Where did it go? You and I were talking 15 years ago. I feel like that was like, three years ago, but actually it was much more right. All these things happened. And so I do think there are some things we can do to create disruption in our life to lessen the sense of, oh, time is just passing by without any sense of control over it.

Todd Henry [00:09:50]:

Let's talk about that. Because you taught, you use this phrase, phantom deadline, right? This idea that, oh, by this point I should have done this, or by this point I should have done that. And that is part of, I think, what generates time anxiety. I was listening today to a podcast. It was, they were talking about wealth, they were talking about net worth or something. And in the midst of that they were saying, like, we live with this idea that because we see the outliers, we think, oh, by age 30 I should have this much net worth or I should have this kind of career mark or I should. But the reality is like we're looking at outliers and we're thinking like, oh, that's the norm. Whereas the norm or the median is actually like two decades older than that outlier.

Todd Henry [00:10:28]:

But like we, so we live in a world, I think right now that reinforces some of these phantom deadlines. How do we begin to dismantle this time anxiety or this sense that we're running out of time or we're running behind schedule or we're not accomplishing what we think we should be accomplishing?

Chris Guillebeau [00:10:45]:

I think we have to set our own constraints and our own deadlines and our own definitions of what is success, what is good, what is a good day, what does that look like? Especially in the, the world of creative work, like whether you are self employed or if you work for a company or an organization, it's really interesting because the better you get at your job, the more work there is to be done, right? Like you can, you get faster and more efficient and your reward is you get to do more of it. And that's nice sometimes, right? Because we all want to improve, but the goal is not just more work. So I think one thing that I advocate for is if we don't set constraints on ourselves, nobody else is going to. Nobody else is going to come along and be like Todd, do less today. And so I think it's really helpful to be like, ok, today I need to do. There's. I don't want a list. We all have a long list of things, right? But I think it's helpful to have a shorter list of here are the things that I really need to do and if I do these things and I'll be happy and satisfied and I'LL take a little pause and maybe I'll decide to like pick up and do another project after that or something.

Chris Guillebeau [00:11:47]:

But I'm not just going to have this as my go to, like all the time. So I think we have to set our own deadlines and limitations because no one else will. And I think also the world operates at one speed these days. I think maybe this is partly like post pandemic or just, I don't know, the world that we're living in. There's a few different factors, but everything is urgent, right? There's no, like slow, medium fast. Everything is urgent. And if we operate at the default of every single task, has the same rate of speed, I don't think that's very sustainable either. So I think we need to start setting those things for ourselves as well.

Todd Henry [00:12:20]:

And I think that kind of connects to this. The distinction you make between time optimization. I think we all. That's what we're trained in, right. We have so many tools to optimize.

Chris Guillebeau [00:12:28]:

That's the dream.

Todd Henry [00:12:29]:

It is. A lot of our mutual friends, like really a couple years ago, really got into this software tool called Notion.

Chris Guillebeau [00:12:36]:

Yeah.

Todd Henry [00:12:37]:

Like tracking every single thing and every whatever. And I'm just like, wow, this is really cool. It feels really unhealthy. Like, is it? But I think that sort of place that, that sort of speaks to that sense we have, like, we want to optimize versus time alignment. What is the difference between those two things?

Chris Guillebeau [00:12:55]:

I think the reason we like those tools and it is tricky because, like, tools can be helpful, right? Of course. But the reason that we tend to go down the rabbit hole with them is this illusion of control and this illusion of, oh, I'm going to eke out 1% more creativity or effectiveness or whatever the desired characteristic is. And I can only speak for myself here and say that I think because I was really into that stuff, I'm just like, oh, learning all about these tools and tricks and methods and systems and apps and journals. And I got really good at doing the wrong things. And so I think that is the danger is like you optimize for the wrong value or the wrong action or behavior. And also a lot of people are overwhelmed, like chronically. Like, I think overwhelm is like a overwhelm as a noun, if we can say that is like this pervasive characteristic of modern society. And so it's really interesting.

Chris Guillebeau [00:13:47]:

If you're overwhelmed, then you have too much. I have too much of this. Too much inbound communication, too much like data that's Just like floating around or that I experience as I scroll or whatever. And what might the solution to that be? And a lot of people say that the solution is here's another system, like here's something else, right? You have too much. And then here we're going to add something on top of it to fix it. And as I said, I've done this myself, but I don't think that is, that is ultimately the way to go. So I think you said something about what's the distinction between that and what? Time alignment.

Todd Henry [00:14:17]:

Optimization. Alignment. So how do we, how should we think differently about time if it's not about just managing our time to be more efficient and crank out more? Like we want to align our time. What does that mean?

Chris Guillebeau [00:14:26]:

Yeah, I think it starts with a more intuitive process. A more intuitive process as compared to a systematic process, which is what, like the notion and the superhuman and all those tools do. The intuitive process is paying attention. And this is something that anyone can do. Like right now, they can do it today, tomorrow, very easy step, paying attention and noticing how you spend your time and noticing how it makes you feel and asking yourself, like, what do I want more of in my life? What do I want less of in my life? What is unresolved in my life? Perhaps questions like this, I think once you start answering them honestly for yourself, you don't have to share those answers with anyone. That gives you a lot of information. And even without making other changes, I think you just start to naturally make some different choices because you understand, oh, okay, this is actually bringing me energy versus this is draining my energy. And then I think at a certain point, like, it is helpful to start introducing like workflows and tools and such.

Chris Guillebeau [00:15:30]:

But I think if you don't start with the intuitive process, then you end up going down the wrong road. And I've done that myself.

Todd Henry [00:15:35]:

You mentioned something a second ago about things that are unresolved in your life and noticing how you're spending your time. And I started. One of the ways that notion, this tool, this one has helped me is that I've started keeping a database of what I'm calling tensions.

Chris Guillebeau [00:15:48]:

These are tensions.

Todd Henry [00:15:49]:

Just areas of my life that are like, it could be something business related, it could be something project related, it could be something personal. Oh, why am I feeling this? There's a tension I feel that needs to be resolved, but I'm not sure where it's coming from or what it is. And what's interesting is I noticed that a lot of my time stress, Chris, comes from in those moments when I'm experiencing attention and I'm trying to avoid it. And so I bury my nose in something else to try to crank through in order to avoid this uncomfortable feeling that I have. And when I pay attention to that tension as you said, and take a more intuitive approach to my time and instead try to think about doing things that actually create value versus just cranking out another whatever, it does help and it relieves that anxiety that I feel as well. I think a lot of my time anxiety in reading the book I discovered a lot of my time anxiety comes from trying to avoid things that I don't want to have to deal with.

Chris Guillebeau [00:16:48]:

Oh, that's interesting. I love attentions list. I have a to dread list which is a little bit similar but I like the tensions list. I guess it's a dread list is here are the things I'm dreading and I probably need to do this, but I'm just like, I've had it on my list every day for 14 days or 35 days. I just keep moving it forward. It's not that hard actually. It's like a 10 minute task perhaps, but I just don't want to do it for whatever reason. And I do think it is helpful, like a general, generally helpful advice because it could be situational, it might be different.

Chris Guillebeau [00:17:16]:

But generally helpful advice is the more that you actually like face those things and just set aside some time to deal with them, the better you are going to feel.

Todd Henry [00:17:24]:

That is a hundred percent true anecdotally. And also I would say that when we don't do that and time, allocating time to these things is really the key to unlocking I think a lot of this what we're feel right. But the reason we don't do it is because we don't want to live with that. Like we want to avoid that discomfort. And you talk about that in terms of you use the distinction between urgency and importance or the urgent and the important. When you say that a lot of the things that are important very rarely feel urgent. Why? Why do you think that's the case?

Chris Guillebeau [00:17:54]:

Because it's so easy to just operate under the urgent. Right? It's so easy to just. If we don't think about what we want to do for our life and this is big picture, if you don't decide for yourself what you want, then that's not really a problem because there's a track you can go on and the track is everyone else will decide for you. And there are plenty of people who like in their Careers, even in their personal relationships and things, just let other people steer the way. And if you're happy with, that's great. But if you want to actually, if you're like, I do have a desire to do something different with my life or to create something, and this is going to require some intentionality and some compromise and maybe some sacrifice of something else, and like, this is going to be difficult, then that, that is the challenge that I must. I have to rise above all the expectations around me or the ease perhaps of just going along with what other people might want. Or here's the system that I could just follow.

Chris Guillebeau [00:18:46]:

So it does take work, right? It takes some bravery and courage, as you've written about. Yeah.

Todd Henry [00:18:50]:

How do we stay ambitious while at the same time, you know, like you said, like, trying to relieve some of this time anxiety? Because when we think about ambitious people, we think about people who are. I'm burning the candle at both ends. I'm cranking out all day. I'm just like, I'm hustling all day. But that kind of ambition can actually be counterproductive. Right. So how do we stay ambitious while not allowing time anxiety to take a hold?

Chris Guillebeau [00:19:15]:

Yeah, I think a couple things. I think there are seasons in life and there are seasons in which it's good to like, hustle for something. And I can remember times when I've been really excited about a project and I just kind of go all out with it and that is rewarding, or it can be. So I don't necessarily think we have to do away with all of that. Like, I've always been kind of goal oriented and I like that. I like ambitious projects. But I think maybe more than ambition, I'm interested in alignment or integration perhaps is like a therapeutic term. And if that's all there is, then we're probably missing, like, our lives are not integrated and we're going to be like, distressed for other reasons.

Chris Guillebeau [00:19:52]:

And so maybe for somebody who let's. It's tricky, like the language of. To say they lack ambition because everybody has their own goals and has to decide for themselves. But maybe somebody who's feeling a little bit like, unsettled or there must be more to life, perhaps what they need is more ambition. Perhaps there is a goal that they could follow or pursue and that might unlock something for them that would allow them to become more of their higher self or whatever ultimately leads them to be fulfilled. But I think ultimately it's about alignment or integration.

Todd Henry [00:20:22]:

When you step back and think about it, time anxiety isn't about the clock at all. It's about attention. It's about what gets our focus, where we invest our energy, and how intentional we are about the hours that we're given. Chris reminded us today that optimization alone won't solve the problem. You can be perfectly efficient and still end up climbing the wrong ladder. The real shift happens when you move toward alignment, when your calendar starts reflecting your values, not just your obligations. And that might mean creating constraints so that you're not trying to do everything all at once. It might mean letting go of someone else's definition of success.

Todd Henry [00:21:01]:

And it might mean protecting time for things that bring energy and meaning to your life, even when they don't look urgent to everyone else. The encouraging part is you don't have to overhaul your life overnight. You can start small. Ask yourself Chris's question Did today matter? If the answer is yes, then why? If the answer is no, then what would have made it matter? Use that as your compass for tomorrow. Over time, those small aligned choices compound into a life and a body of work that you're proud of. So this week, resist the urge to fill every spare moment with activity. Instead, choose one thing that matters and give it your best energy. Let the rest take its place in the background.

Todd Henry [00:21:46]:

Because when we focus on the important over the urgent, we not only get more done, we create the space for our best work to emerge. Thanks again to Chris Gillebo for joining me. His new book is called Time Anxiety and you can find it@timeanxiety.com I highly recommend picking it up. As always, thank you again for listening to Daily Creative. If today's episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it and take a moment to leave a review. It helps other creative pros find the show. My name is Todd Henry. You can find my work@toddhenry.com including my books and my speaking events.

Todd Henry [00:22:26]:

Until next time, may you be brave, focused and brilliant. We'll see you then. Sam.